Monday, May 17, 2010

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Review

I'm just gonna start out this review by saying that I am not a big fan of the original Nightmare on Elm Street. I just thought it was okay, nothing special to warrant it to become a horror classic. But I will say that this remake of that movie is just one of the biggest pieces of bullshit I have ever seen.
The film is a remake about a man named Freddy Krueger who was accused of being a child murderer and was burnt alive by the parent's of the children. He come back years later to haunt these children in their dreams and kills them in their sleep.
Now I have said this before and I will say it again. I have no problems about remaking an old film. But the big pet peeve I have with remakes especially those in this day and age is that they think that by adding CGI and special effects to the same frame by frame movie, they will have an instant hit. If you're gonna be so bold as to remake a so called classic. Do something different with it. Take it in a new direction. That's what Christopher Nolan did with Batman and that's why it works. Don't think people will love the same movie with better special effects. Cause that is just dumb.
And that's what this movie was. DUMB. Okay, to those who has seen this. I want you to tell me who the main character of this film was. In the original, the main character was Nancy Holbrook, but in this piece of shit, we have to wait 45 minutes till her character get's introduced. For the first half of the movie, we get these bunch of good looking, underwear models who think they can act just dying really horrible deaths by Freddy. Now, to people like me who have seen it and understand the whole back story of Freddy Krueger, it's okay. But to those who haven't, they're just gonna go "What??" Cause they have no idea what's going on.
Another thing I really hated about this was for a horror film, all it's scary scenes relied heavily on jump scares. Which is just stupid. People these days have lost the whole idea of what the horror genre is about. See back then, when they did make scary films, horror wasn't about having some psycho killer suddenly popping up in the screen with some really loud boom sound. That is not fucking scary. It shocks you, yes.. but that doesn't keep you up at night.
What the original Nightmare on Elm Street do that was so groundbreaking was that it created an air of paranoia and fear whenever you went to sleep because you might just die in your dreams. That is horror. Making you feel claustrophobic and scared even after the movie has finished playing. But in this shit. Jump scar. Jump scare. Jump scare. Jump scare. Jump scare. Wooooo sooo terrifying.
And I love Jackey Earl Haley but he really doesn't do anything interesting with Freddy Krueger in this. All he does is just deliver all his lines as if he has a really weird speech impediment. And for some reason, whenever Freddy Krueger was on screen, I felt more hungry than scared, Cause that guy's skin just looked like fried chicken, extra crispy hahahaha. But I actually like the way they changed Freddy Krueger's origin here. Cause now in this one, we don't know if he really was a child murderer or if he was wrongly accused and unjustly murdered which could be the reason why he is back tormenting people. hat I thought was a nice touch.
Oh and the other actors in this were so horrible I actually feel ashamed for them. We have Rooney Mara playing Nancy. She is probably the most boring, one note, monotone performance I have ever seen in any actor. Her eyes are just so sleepy, even during the scary scenes. And this guy, Kyle Gallner who plays Quentin. This fucker looks like he's about to cry or vomit throughout this whole movie.
Why the fuck would studios think that these people can act just because they are models? This is something that really pisses me off, being an actor myself. You are a model. You make a living out of looking like a plastic mannequin. You are in no way capable of portraying a character or saying a line with emotion. Deal with it.
Can I just say now that I really hate this film? They had every opportunity in the world to make this great. And what do they do? They fuck it up so bad that a horror classic from the 80's that launched the career of Johnny Depp became a one and a half hour of BULLSHIT.

RATING: 1/10

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